ADVENTURES OF 2 GUYS, 1 GIRL AND A PET HAMSTER

I’ve been a little preoccupied with a see-saw of emotions lately and nothing I’ve been doing is helping…it could be because all I’ve been doing is not dealing with this pandora’s box of feelings, staying in wrecked with cabin fever and listening to fucking Bon Iver on repeat.

Is this about a boy?

Of course it’s about a boy.

It’s always about a bloody boy.

If this was a teen movie, everyone would be rooting for us. But it isn’t and I will most likely be spending my time feeling sad and eating ice cream and waiting for you to call just so I can see your stupid face for an hour. So here it is…

10 things you should avoid doing with someone who will eventually be leaving you aka fraternizing with the Enemy:

• Having abnormally long text conversations about everything and nothing
• Ordering Sambuca shots, dancing like no one’s watching till the lights come on and then deciding on a regrettable place to carry on partying
• Kissing in a stale smoking box behind the DJ consoles at a dingy tranny bar
• Letting them eat pizza in bed so the crumbs, OH THE CRUMBS, are every where
• Making over-ambitious breakfasts for them, whilst still hungover in the morning
• Cleaning the dishes in their sink without grumbling
• Watching their favorite TV while cuddling even though your fat head weighs roughly a thousand kilograms
• Not kicking them out of bed, holding hands and falling asleep, despite it being mid-day and most respectable people are not napping under the sheets
• Wear your heart on your sleeve like it’s the next IT thing

and of course, the one thing that you should never do, under absolutely no condition whatsoever, avoid avoid avoid with the same sort of persistence as the bubonic plague or things just as terrifying :

Like-like this weird, insane, amazing person you just spent all that time with a little too much than you should be.