ADVENTURES OF 2 GUYS, 1 GIRL AND A PET HAMSTER

So I’ve been away for a while largely because of this terrible sickness. My medication’s adverse effects include excitation and mental confusion so Imma just go ahead and blame my crippling laziness on it. The disease has also reduced me to violent hacking - I swear yesterday a little bit of my lung fell out of my mouth. As a result, I’ve had to re-schedule dates because the only thing sexy about having the cold is greasing Vaporub over your chest.

Not quite as raspy as Selma Simpson but isn’t she such an motivation to quit smoking?

Nothing new to update in my life except for re-acquaintances of pleasant strangers so let’s move on to tales of the 2G1G1H apartment.

This afternoon, our pad was graced by the presence of two friendly policemen as an indirect result of my actions. I wasn’t present but if I had to guess why they were here without fully understanding the situation, it would largely be because of the hallway’s atrocious assault on my nose. No seriously. Damp shoes and carpeting smell like a murder scene of wet puppies. If only Tumblr had a upload function which included Scratch & Sniff…

But on to how I nearly got my flatmate’s girlfriend arrested, let’s call her S.

If you’re living in Singapore, you would probably already realized that tis the season for flash floods and fuck cats & dogs, today it was raining a menagerie of animals. S rings me mid-day because she’s outside the apartment and seeing as to how she doesn’t have a buzzer to the gate, she’s stuck outside getting raped by the wet weather. Unfortunately I was out so clever Josie tells her to shimmy over our gate which has worked for our friends in the past…which she does.

Unfortunately, unlike Antoine Dodson’s bed intruder, in the process of climbing over the wall, she gets caught by a lady in our apartment’s landowner committee. The poor chica gets her soggy ass hauled and lectured whilst looking like a drowned rat. She gets into the house but 45 minutes later the cops come a-knockin’ at our door. I am sure our brave policemen rolled their eyes uncontrollably whilst receiving the complaint (#firstworldproblems, much?) but seeing as to how there wasn’t another dead body at Bedok Reservoir to tend to, I’m guessing they just had to answer her distress call.

The popo were nice about it and issued S a trespassing warning so no harm was done. Although I am guessing this is the last time she will turn to me for advice of any nature.

Just a regular day at the 2G1G1H apartment where the cops show up…have a great week ahead you guys!

Edit: I have just been informed that it was 4 friendly policemen, not 2.