ADVENTURES OF 2 GUYS, 1 GIRL AND A PET HAMSTER

Someone I dated said that once to me. Needless to say, we are no longer together. He was a jerk so I chopped my locks off anyway.

I’m not usually one of those girls. Y’know, the kind who shaves their head post-break up. But I woke up this morning and decided to ctrl-xed my hair and dye it slightly blue. I intended for it to be purple but the nice lady who did it said it would fade into a lovely violet…one step closer to having the My Little Pony hair of my dreams. And yes it has occurred to me that along with my love for Hello Kitty (how could you not, she has no mouth because she speaks from the heart), I have creepy girlish obsessions that would scare most men off. I’d considered getting Hello Kitty sheets for my new bed - i.e. female equivalent of having Spiderman covers, but realized in time that it would not be a wise purchase if I still wanted to get any action.

So anyway, I’d been planning for this post to be a deeply insightful piece about former relationships and re-invention. But I’ve decided otherwise.

Because a hair cut is just a hair cut. People come into your lives as easily as they leave it - what’s the point of physical change or transformation. I like who I am and I am not any more or less of a person even though my hair color is now blue. If I wanted to re-invent myself, I would become a lesbian.

And no, I am not going to become a lesbian. It wouldn’t work for me. Nothing fits and once a month, it’ll just be blood EVERYWHERE for us.

I’ll end this post with one piece of advice: do not fall asleep if your head is stuck in a steamer, you will burn your neck and you will not like it.